The First Cut is the Deepest

Artist: Sheryl Crow

So I've given up trying to be optimistic/cheerful because my life just sucks.

My Mom LITERALLY won't talk to me. People don't appreicate this but I mean LITERALLY! I usuallydon't even get a good morning. She is not going to let me live with her after graduation and I have to find a job that pays enough for rent.

I can't even get my Gram to let me stay with her for 2 days or even a night and she lives 1 mile away and lives in a 4 bedroom house by herself.

I may as well have no father at all because I never talk with him, don't have his number and he has never helped me in any way whatsoever.

I can't even turn to my sister because she's just not that type of person. I try but she screams to my Mom that I'm bothering her.

I don't really have friends to turn to, my 2 former BFs aren't talking to me so I can't even talk with them about it or go out to escape. My other BF lives in NYC and we just don't talk that often. Penelope never answers her phone. I love the people at work and surely complain enough but there is only so much they can do. And H is great but she's family too so I don't want to make things weird for her plus she has 2 babies and doesn't need my drama nor does she have time to hang out much.

Mr. H is always supportive but I can only harass him so much and I rarely get to see him.

I ofcourse have no bf or much potential and my life in bubble with no men leaves me with 0 experience or comfortablity which makes it all but impossible to meet someone. No one really understands that just like my mother does NOT talk to me. I know NOTHING about guys. I don't know how to be in a relationship bc I've never even witnesses one to learn from. My wholefamily is basically single women who don't date.

In sum - I'm lonely hell and it isn't looking optimistic.

Ain't It Funny

Artist: JLo and JaRule

So my day was great. I mean perfect in fact. Which considering I have been feeling very down and stressed lately is quite a wonderful change.

I got an A- on Physics. MR. H's email! I learned that CitiYear may be an affordable option and my Mom talked with me today so it means it may even be practical. I thought my internship wasn't going to be good today and even though I wasn't able to do the work I wanted to I talked with one of the girls there and she said she'd call me if they go out this weekend. Then I went to Happy Hour with my some of my other favorite people - Princess Freckles, J and Ms. Ross!

I met J's hubby who is very nice. And they invited their friend - M. Since it was a group and I was rather nervous we didn't talk one on one too much but one thing that really stood out that I really like is that he likes Detroit, which I love! Anyway, we're going to go on a double date with J but I'm not interested in jinxing anything so I'll leave it at that.

Meeting a new guy is awesome but I really loved hanging out with the girls! My gf track record is as bad as my bf and it was soooooooo nice to hang out with PF and J .... and Ms. R ;)

It's funny because I somehow feel like high school and I got to hang out at the cool table with the popular kids. And particularly happy because it can be weird with co-workers and determining if you're work friends or friend friends and after tonight I feel like we're the latter.

So today was an unusually good day, the best I've had in ages!