Saturday, April 4, 2009

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

Artist: The Smiths

So I asked Slackerboy to lunch and I think I underplayed my hand and backed myself in to a corner. My big concern is him accidently thinking I want to date him - which I think most people who know me assume I'm interested in a relationship - and being scared off and generally avoiding me. Therefore, I went with a "I'm going out to lunch, want to come with" and he said "sure."

We went to Potbelly's and had a nice time. I was actually surprised at how comfortable it was since I'm never comfortable, not even to hang out with someone, especially for the first time, male or female. Anyway I was careful to avoid any topic that would even hint that I may be interested in him - for any reason. We talked about somethings that may not normally come up a work but generally not so much.
As a result I don't think he knows I'm interested in anything. As a girl I would be curious as to why a guy I've worked with for 5+ years never asked me out to lunch but I'm not sure he thought of that. As his name suggests his range of emotions are limited to 1 - therefore reading him is impossible. He could have had a great, neutral or horrible time and I would not/do not know.
One thing I learned is that he wants to hang out with people, outside of drinking in their basements. I casually mentioned I'm always up for hanging out but it attrached no attention. There are a couple reasons why: he didn't hear me (again I wanted to avoid any possible hints of ulterior motive and/or he's a guy and maybe doesn't listen) or because I always say I'm boring and never do anything fun he's under the impression I'm no fun to hang out with - which may be true but I'm kinda confident that I'd be fun to make-out with because I'm dealing with a lot of pent up energy. Ofcourse there is also the easier reason of he's not in to me and doesn't want to hang out at all. But that is certainly more limiting.
Bottomline is now what? If ask him about again he'll think I want to date him which is not the signal I'm looking to send. I'm not sure what the signal I'm looking to send is. The Hot One/the "Love" Guru suggested asking him to drinks and generally trying to find out if he's sexually attracted to me (he also offered to ask him directly which I thought was very sweet of him but declined on the merit of it being veyr high school - not that any of this isn't). Ofcourse SlackerBoy has decided to stop drinking until graduation so getting him drunk is a little difficult.

I asked some of my guy friends to rate me - pathetic yes but helpful - and I received solid 7s. My one friend who is attractive and popular - therefore in a relationship - said if you include my personality a 9 (because he likes bossy women) and that he'd totally do me. I feel very confident with a 7 that is average and I would say certainly attractive enough to just make out with a person.
I honestly can't believe how difficult this is. In our ever degenerate society - a high school boy told me today that PS2 is too hard for some kinds because it has more buttoms than the Wii and requires more concentration! It is now too hard for people to sit on their ass and push buttons! Back to the point. I'm an average looking girl who just wants to make out with someone no strings attached and its basically impossible. And going through my phone and friends on fb Danny is the only remaining option since everyone else is in a relationship and the final 2 options are so horrible even I'm not that desperate.
I have a dreadful fear that even Drew's 25 year old character will be kissed before me.

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