The First Cut is the Deepest

Artist: Sheryl Crow

So I've given up trying to be optimistic/cheerful because my life just sucks.

My Mom LITERALLY won't talk to me. People don't appreicate this but I mean LITERALLY! I usuallydon't even get a good morning. She is not going to let me live with her after graduation and I have to find a job that pays enough for rent.

I can't even get my Gram to let me stay with her for 2 days or even a night and she lives 1 mile away and lives in a 4 bedroom house by herself.

I may as well have no father at all because I never talk with him, don't have his number and he has never helped me in any way whatsoever.

I can't even turn to my sister because she's just not that type of person. I try but she screams to my Mom that I'm bothering her.

I don't really have friends to turn to, my 2 former BFs aren't talking to me so I can't even talk with them about it or go out to escape. My other BF lives in NYC and we just don't talk that often. Penelope never answers her phone. I love the people at work and surely complain enough but there is only so much they can do. And H is great but she's family too so I don't want to make things weird for her plus she has 2 babies and doesn't need my drama nor does she have time to hang out much.

Mr. H is always supportive but I can only harass him so much and I rarely get to see him.

I ofcourse have no bf or much potential and my life in bubble with no men leaves me with 0 experience or comfortablity which makes it all but impossible to meet someone. No one really understands that just like my mother does NOT talk to me. I know NOTHING about guys. I don't know how to be in a relationship bc I've never even witnesses one to learn from. My wholefamily is basically single women who don't date.

In sum - I'm lonely hell and it isn't looking optimistic.

Thank You

Artist: Christina Aguleria

Because I've been such a bad blogger I didn't even notice MRM gave me an award! I'm sooo flattered and surprised! Thank you!

"These blog are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight more bloggers who must choose eight more bloggers and include this cleverly written text in the body of their award."

I'll be honest and say I'm not exactly sure how this works and whether these people have the award already but I'll pass it on to:

1. Princess Freckles

2. Newbie New Yorker

3. Sweet, Sassy & Always Classy

4. A little bit of this and A little bit of that...

5. Jane

6. Megan

Ordinary Day

Artist: Vanessa Carlton

I've been an awful blogger of late. Things have just been too busy. Soo many things where to start.

First - Lent. I'm an awful Catholic but a proud Catholic. I wish I went to church more often but I don't however I have started reading the bible - which I suppose doesn't make me any better of a Catholic lol - and am trying to give up gossiping. The latter is VERY hard. I know I'm a gossip but it's hard to determine what's talking about my life and what is gossiping so that won't be easy (especially at my job) but I'll do my best.

Second - President Obama's unofficial state of the union. I thought it was great. It really spoke to all the issues I really care about namely EDUCATION! It's so nice to hear about education as a priority since it hasn't been in such a long time. His call to action of course reminded me of JFK's and really makes me want to do CityYear whatever the cost. That's my big thing right now - what to do with my life. I just don't know.

Third - Shopping. I went on a spree today. I mostly bought things for Baby C & soon to be Baby P. I bought cutest stuff for Easter from Target and these really cute little sport eggs so I'll have a egg hunt for C. I would totally have gotten way more for Baby P but I'm broke. I want to get her a cute little dress but they are semi-expensive since I have no money. We'll see.

I also went shopping for me which I shouldn't have but I did. I got a cute Taylor Swift dress and a really cute pink purse that has a LOVE label on it. Since I love pink and alway dot my i's with hearts and the "O" is a heart I thought it was appropriate.

Fourth - Exercise. I started my class Tuesday and it kicked my ass but in a good way. I'm sooo out of shape which is horrible since I did so well this summer. I also rented Jillian Michaels work out tape which also kicked my ass. I've done alot of workout vids but hers is the hardest by a long shot! I'm going to really give it a go in March to try and lose some weight but we'll see what happens.

Finally - I learned I'm the Honors Scholar in both the History & Political Science departments and that was a surprise and really nice to learn. However I have no idea what it entails and am curious but I don't know how to tactfully ask that question to a professor - again we'll see.

It's All Coming Back to Me Now

Artist: Celine Dion

Newbie New Yorker is giving away the cutest tote! Sign up for the give away and I'd recommend following her too because she always has great posts.

http://newbieny.blogspot.com/2009/02/ive-hit-200-posts-wow-time-really-flies.html

Now I would like this post to be cheerful but unfortunately it isn't going to be. I started this blog to restart my life and be the person I want to be but I'm constantly reminded that saying something doesn't make it so.

The fact is what I'd love to do is do CityYear Detroit for a year, take a class or two, apply to gradschool and Teach for America and Eastern so I have options and then be a high school Social Studies teacher which was my plan in life since I was like 8 or 9.

The reality however is very different. I can't live with my Mom; therefore I can't do any of the above. And its not that I just can't stand living with her - which honestly I can't because she hates me and I hate that and its really hard to live with someone who tells you they don't want to breath the same air as you. This is particularly true when I spent the day before watching Gossip Girl with her and thinking we were in a good place.

We're not. We've never been and probably never will be. Plus you know she says I can't live with her so that also answers that question. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that I can find some job that pays me enough to move out and make enough money to make me happy and at least partially satisfied with life.

Ain't It Funny

Artist: JLo and JaRule

So my day was great. I mean perfect in fact. Which considering I have been feeling very down and stressed lately is quite a wonderful change.

I got an A- on Physics. MR. H's email! I learned that CitiYear may be an affordable option and my Mom talked with me today so it means it may even be practical. I thought my internship wasn't going to be good today and even though I wasn't able to do the work I wanted to I talked with one of the girls there and she said she'd call me if they go out this weekend. Then I went to Happy Hour with my some of my other favorite people - Princess Freckles, J and Ms. Ross!

I met J's hubby who is very nice. And they invited their friend - M. Since it was a group and I was rather nervous we didn't talk one on one too much but one thing that really stood out that I really like is that he likes Detroit, which I love! Anyway, we're going to go on a double date with J but I'm not interested in jinxing anything so I'll leave it at that.

Meeting a new guy is awesome but I really loved hanging out with the girls! My gf track record is as bad as my bf and it was soooooooo nice to hang out with PF and J .... and Ms. R ;)

It's funny because I somehow feel like high school and I got to hang out at the cool table with the popular kids. And particularly happy because it can be weird with co-workers and determining if you're work friends or friend friends and after tonight I feel like we're the latter.

So today was an unusually good day, the best I've had in ages!

Count on Me

Artist: Whitney Houston

It looks like I'm making up for lost time in the blogworld.

I got an email response from my favorite person in the world today - Mr. H. He was my high school teacher and retired the year I had him but I've been going to him with every crisis in my life since then and he is the best person I know.

It doesn't matter what the problem is school, boys, family, whatever I always email him and he always cheers me up. And when he's in MI he usually comes to see me at work which leaves me grinning for days.

I'm NOT in love with him but I love him more than anyone else in the world. With a mother that hates me, no dad and no other family members to rely on he has been my saving grace more times than I can count. He's the father/grandfather I wish that I had. I always feel terribly guilty bothering him - especially since he's retired but he never seems to mind.

Anyways lets hope my day continues in this direction.

God Bless America

Artist:

Well I've been so busy with school I haven't blogged in quite some time. Thankfully Physics went well and I pulled out an A- on the exam.

And today's Happy Hour day and I'm very excited! I can't wait to hang out with Princess Freckles, J and Ms. Ross, plus I'll meet J's husband and mystery guy too!

Tuesday Congressman McCotter (R-MI) came to campus (and it was a stressful fiasco that involved me hijacking a professor's class so he could speak to it but all in all I survived) and I was pleasantly surprised.

I'm a proud Democrat. I'm a moderate ideologically but I'm a strong party faithful, so I've never voted for McCotter and never really knew much about him. Personally, he's not a very friendly guy. Every politician I have met - Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Governor Granholm, Senators Levin and Stabenow and Congressman Dingell - are incredibly friendly and interested in people. Hillary and Dingell win by a long shot because no matter the crowd they will want to ask you questions.

That is B with Hill since her picture came out better and I don't have my professional photo on a computer.

I LOVE Hillary so I just have to recount my two encounters with her because she gets a harsh reputation which she doesn't deserve. The first time I was in high school, couldn't vote and went with my sister to an event with ALOT of important politicians. And there were 100s of people who wanted to talk with Hillary and she talked (by that I mean I shrieked incoherently and my sister translated) with us for a few minutes and took a picture with both of us even though her people were trying to push her through the line.

The second time I was volunteering a VIP event and was able to get a professional photo taken with her and I was the last person before she had to get on a plane so again there was a hurry. Nevertheless, she was very friendly and we took the picture when I was walking away she noticed I had my nametag on so she told me to come back and we'd take another picture! I LOVE Secretary Clinton!

On with McCotter.... the arrangement ended up being a townhall and he was gracious in answering questions but he never asked anyone's name or what they were studying even when we had a brief meet and greet with the Political Science Club (my org) and the College Republicans (who I work with). I don't hold that against him though, I just thought it was interesting.

Politically I mostly disagree with him but not entirely and I can pretty much respect his views. He's a Cold Warrior for sure - it was funny because he was talking about Fascist and Communist threats. I strongly disagree with his position on education because that is my important issue and he is not interested at all.

I did agree or at least strongly respect his position on the economy. He's oppose to the stimulus and I'm not but he wasn't bitter about it. He was nice to Obama and said that he'd wait to make judgements until later but he laid it into W - which surprised me. He does not believe in the free market and said business will look out for its self and become anarchy if the government doesn't regulate it which I strongly agree with. He's a good republican he doesn't believe in big government he believes in necessary government which I respect and agree with although we have a different interpretation of necessary. Again I was surprised that he said nice things about Governor Granholm who is not very popular around here.

Finally, what I agreed with/respected the most was his love for Michigan and Detroit in particular. He knows that a strong Detroit is essential for a strong Michigan. So I can't say I'd ever vote for him but I do respect him and don't mind that he's my Congressional representative.

The Little Things

Artist: Colbie Callait

Somehow I ended up having a psuedo date on V-Day with the person I'd want to most.

I have no idea what is around his neck and its not a fashion accessory

My Orthodox Muslim non-boyfriend ex called me.

The quick history is I met him in at a leadership program last year and really liked him. He asked for my number and called me few times and we would talk for hours. And then we'd hang out for hours. We even went out on a double (non) date, bookstore, Starbucks, and a party. And would just sit in my car and talk till 4 in the morning. It was perfect because he's smart, funny, sexy and I'm 100% comfortable around him.

Of course I'm not lucky enough to find the perfect guy and end up with a Orthodox Muslim who doesn't touch the opposite sex. Not great since I'm super attracted to him. And he also can't "date." A difficult concept for me to understand since we talk every day, hang out and go out. Something clicked in his head appearly that he can't "date" after a month or so and he "broke up" with me.

I was really upset and knowing the "rules" I tried to work something out. We couldn't really. We went on a great "date" downtown this summer. And he calls me occassionally and we talk for hours. I saw him for the first time in a couple months a few weeks ago and we talked everyday for about a week. I asked him out for V-Day just so I wouldn't be alone. Again I know the "rules" and made an offer he should have been able to accept. He rejected it in his polite, comical and apoligetic way.

(Note: I proposition him every few months because I happen to enjoy trying to seduce him (in a PG/13 manner since we've accomedated the "rules" a couple times) so my asking him out wasn't a pathetic V-day thing/attempt to "date" him ).

Anyway we hadn't spoke since then and I was - am always - surprised to see his name in my caller id. He wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day (the only person that day except possibly J) and we talk for 2 hours. And about everything ,as usually. I made him listen to Taylor Swift and John Mayer, he made me listen to a song from My Fair Lady and some classical music. He asked about my love life - which I swear is his favorite topic and one that I would like to avoid unless he wants to make out with me.

I was the one to end the conversation. Generally I think its a good idea to be the one to cut it off - leave him wanting more ;) and I really had to get my hair done (the club smell was killing me and it take 4hrs to do

Once I was off the phone I realized some important things.

1. He called because he felt guilty about not going out and decided to have a "safe" phone date
2. He still likes me and doesn't trust himself alone with me
3. We really did "date." As I've never dated I've never been sure of what it entails but the truth is whether he can recognize it or not, as a Catholic and American I can - we dated.

Sexy Can I?

Artist: Ray J

The answer is yes and no.

Surprisingly I am physically capable of going to a club, talking and dancing with various guys I have no interest in. If I wanted numbers I could have gotten some. I even got asked to go back someone's hotel room. I met another guy who was cute, an MSU grad and didn't seem creepy but he smokes and therefore I'm just not that into him.

I had a great time with Penelope but I hate clubs. I was "fun" for an hour and a half and then I put back on my sweater and wanted to go. The best thing is I met my goal and tried something new. In the process I learned something important about myself. "Fun" for me is not what may be fun for others and I'm totally okay with that. I don't want to have that kind of fun . I prefer going to a coffee house, museum or jazz concert.

And I'm more or less single because I choose to be or at least I choose not to do the things that may get me a boyfriend. But I have high standards and it's just a fact.

Even better though is sweetheart J has a guy she's going to introduce me to. Who knows, maybe I'll accomplish even more goals.

HAPPY V-DAY EVERYONE!

I'm Hooked on You

Artist: Al Green
Damn. I'm hooked. I really do like Private Practice. I was hoping it was a fluke but alas it's the real thing. This is how bad (good) it was - I made no snyde remarks during Grey's and for a minute or two I even liked McDummy. shivers in disgust

I loved the friend dynamic. I thought they all played it really well. I didn't entirely get the Baily stuff (ie what was the point?) but maybe I'd have to watch Greys to pick it up. I loved Sam in this episode so funny. Ah although it just hit me - I probably enjoyed GA/PP crossover because it had the Greys people I like and not much of those I hate (Merideth, Christina, George and Izzie - good riddance to the last two). And next week it looks like McDummy gets his - Go Steamy!

Baby When the Lights Go Out

Artist: Five

Well today started off pretty well.

I made beautiful but really horribly tasting peach scones yesterday. But not detered I decided to back a florentine-eque pizza this morning and it was really good. I bought a pizza crust, sauteed red onions, tomatoes and spinach in some light oil and put it on top of Paul Newman's tomato& basil sauce and topped it with mozzerella cheese. Delicious.

And I got to work there was no electricity - big storm last night. Princess Freckles and I and our co-workers spent much of the next three hours looking out the window watching people come to the door to then turn back to the parking lot. PF also tasted the scone and can attest to how bad it was :/

Anyway I left work early and was semi-productive before going to gym, class and volunteering. I'm pretty sure I got a bad grade on my paper but am too afraid to look.

Finally, I talked with my Granny - which is almost never a good idea and today was no exception. First the sad news is I learned that my dad's wife mother who is such a nice lady and always very sweet to me and B has early onset demensia. I don't talk with my Dad ever so I don't see her very much but will have to try to get over the bridge for a visit.

Second, I got to hear about all the classes my little siblings are in and what my Dad has bought and done for and with them. I'm glad they get to have a good Dad but at the same time I'm upset that he has never done anything for me or B and owes my mom a fortune in back child support. He's provided no emotional or finanical support for us but can do things for them, I jsut don't understand how anyone can just ignore their kids and not take responsibility i guess.

Anyway tomorrow's the big single's mingle so I've post an update Sat.

For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

Artist: someone
It's rather late in the day for this but HAPPY JOHN DINGELL day!

Congressman Dingell has served in Congress for a quarter of its existance (53 years). And if you listened to NPR today you will know that he is not like most older Senators and Congressmen. He's all there and the nicest man you will meet. He goes to more events than any politician I know and he love to talk with constituents. And everyone loves him. It's pretty funny because Republicans call his office and complain about whatever law or action but never Congressman Dingell - the funny thing is that they always think he's just unaware of the problem and that once he hears the correct answer he will agree with them. People from out of the district and state go to him for help too, just because he's such a nice guy and will help them if he knew about the problem/request.

Congratulations Congressman Dingell, no one deserves it more than you!

In other news, one of my bosses/friend gave me Harvest Sweets - Dark Chocolate raspberry Truffles and they are AMAZING! I ate the whole box within 2 hours! To be fair it was only like 9 pieces but nevertheless, they are VERY GOOD!

In other news I babysat Baby C yesterday and was sooo glad that he didn't cry the whole time. In fact he barely cried at all! H & M are such great parents and are always with him when they can be that he doesn't have a babysitter often and last time I watched him I put him to bed and it was the first time his parents didn't. I was afriad he'd be scarred for life but he wasn't.

He was so much fun. He's only one and half and I had him color a picture for his soon-to-be baby sis and let him give her one of the outfits I got for her. He was so cute picking out which one to give and putting it in the bag I had him reenact it so I could film it for my camera.

Finally, I was rejected by 3 jobs in 2 days - more qualified candidates. I'm so doomed.

Don't Let Me Get Me

Artst: Pink

So I'm suffering major anxiety and frustration.

I decided to speak with one of my professors about my book and publishing some articles (see if the idea is pratical). He thinks its a great idea and that I should go to graduate school. So all day I've been thinking about grad school.

I'd have to wait 18 months before I could even start since I didn't apply. Didn't take the GRE. And the added and continuous problem of not having a language proficiency thus excluding me from most programs.

My whole college career was based off getting in to Teach for America. I got rejected in October. Then a miricle happened and I got an internship that would lead to a job but the program was suspended. The result is I have to plan for the future and have no where to start and am behind.

I've been applying to jobs online but the fact is I'm not sure how much I really really want to do them. I know I can do them and I know I would be good at it but I don't know if it will make me happy. I was raised to only care and think about money and these jobs would provide me with that. I could buy things - matching undercloths for example - and go on vacation - Charleston, NYC and St. Petersburg. I could take classes, socialize maybe meet someone. My work might not be fun but maybe I could have a good life.

My dream option is to work for a politician or at the White House but I'm not sure how practical the first is and the second is a dream. Neither would provide me money but excitement and satisfaction. I think sometimes that working at a non-profit or think tank would too. I like to work with people and research.

A goal in my life is to get a PhD. I promised my Aunt Sharon I would get one. But I'm so tired of school. I don't know if I could survive 4-6 more years. especially since I'll be a year behind - which means I don't even know if I could get in. I'm still not sure where I could get in because of the language issue. But I don't want to make the same mistake twice in regards to college so if I go I want it to be somewhere I like - MSU or somewhere on the East coast. New England, NY, DC or SC would be great. I may be able to have a life and be in school but I don't know if I could get in.

There is my other problem. I go to the school I do because I was afraid to go somewhere big. I thought I was too dumb, I didn't realize that I was only an idiot for not applying because I could have got scholarships to alot of schools and I would have done fine and probably have been happy too. I'm scared to go to grad school. I get all As but I don't think I'm that smart. I don't think I'm that great of a writer either. But I don't know if its the lack of self-confidence and fear that have plauged me or that I know the truth and other people or all crazy.

I don't want to make another mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life but I don't know what the mistake is.

I'm not about to have my dream life - a husband, home and family - I can't even get a date. Part of me just accepts this fact. The other part isn't sure. Is getting a career a good way to find a job and get that or is going to school and maybe meeting someone there. Or more importantly will school just be a final nail in the coffin as I'll be with mostly younger people and miss out on a chance to potentially get a life? I don't know if I want the nail yet.

Bumpy Ride

Artist: Robyn

Good things and bad things.

Good is that I signed up for a class at the local Rec. I've really wanted to take a class but didn't think I'd have the time and would have to wait until I graduated but I found a cheap, half hour abs and buns workout class and signed up.

Good and bad. My friend K sent me a sweet V-day card. She lives in NYC and I don't see her much so I thought I'd send her a little care package. She loves Tinkerbell so I got her a purse and then put other items in there that spelt CANDY. I'll post the sheet later. It's really cute. Anyway my Mom was mad and thought it was stupid and a waste of money and an arguement insued. And I realized - once I got to the postoffice - that I don't have her apt # so I'll have to send it tomorrow morning.

Bad there was a Political Science Club social at Buffalo Wild Wings and only two other people showed up and I had horrible food so I wasted my money.

Oh well, Housewives and B&S is on tonight and hopefully they will be good.

Back in the Day

Artist: Christina Aguilera

Dorothea Lange New Deal funded FSA Photography

I answered a couple of phonecalls today at my internship that rather upset me. They were about the stimulus bill and one person said that they did not support funding art. I did my job and made no comment but I'm going to now.

Two disclaimers. One I'm not an artist of any sort nor do I possess any talent for it. I like pretty things and I appreciate other people's talent and other people's appreciation and respect for others talents. Secondly, regardless about how anyone feels about the stimulus package on principle and historically support for the arts have been a good thing.

During the Great Depression the Work Progress Administration put money in to roads, bridges, schools, libraries, parks and other facilities - many of which you can still see in your communities today because of the quality and workmanship.

The Federal Writer's Project employed journalist, novelists, and poets to ggather oral and local histories and create guide books for communities. Many of the narratives of slaves is because of the this New Deal program.

Photographs taken by Farm Security Administration workers are some of the most recognizable and emotional recordings of the Great Depression.

When this person called today what I really wanted to tell them what FDR had said when he was asked about federally funding the arts (like me he was a simple person who was not artisy) - artists need to eat too.

I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself

Artist: Cameron Diaz (My Best Friend's Wedding)

With no time for anything I have added yet another show to my tv watching schedule. A recovering television addict I was so good and basically watching only a show or two now I'm up to like 7.

Sunday: Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters

Monday: House, Gossip Girls (on commericials), One Tree Hill

Wednesday: Life

AND NOW...

Thursday: Private Practice (and for the next week or so Greys - which I've hated since day one)

My sisters was a super Greys fan but has since moved on thank goodness but I did catch a couple episodes when Addison was on and found her to be basically the only redeemable character. I was glad when Kate Walsh got her own show but I never really watched it since they moved it around so much. Now I've found it and I I like.

This episode was good and I was most impresed by the fact that all the cliches (baby dying, parents returning, Cooper taking the girl, Violet holding out in telling people, ect) were skipped and I was geniunely surprised at how it turned out. I must hand it to ABC after a few years of falling at to the wayside they are back with substantial television series that aren't all reality which I hate - although to be fair I'm a recovering ABC soapy and my expectations for the network are incredibly low (if you watch General Hospital you'll know what I'm talking about)

Hot Pockets

Artist: some really lucky ad guys


I wish I had the time and money to cook delicious meals like everyone else but as a broke college student it just doesn't happen. Therefore, I live a little too much on tv dinners. Here's a new one I tried today and it's delicious. I love the panini at Panera and this is similar and a quarter of the price. My only complaint is that normally with Hot Pockets you buy the box and the two sandwiches are individually packaged these are not. So you eat the whole thing which is wonderful but not as healthy. Below is my other favorite and healthier (as far as frozen foods go).

Like a Virgin

Artist: Madonna

My first time being tagged! Thank you Princess Freckles!

Step 1: Respond and Rework.Answer the questions on your own blog. Replace one question that you don't like with a question of your own invention. Then add one more question of your own invention.
Step 2: Tag eight other un-tagged people!

1. Make a list of things you can see without getting up. A mess and Daniel Craig.

2. Favorite Football Team. I don't like football but for my Aunt I go with Michigan State Spartans

3. What are you wearing now? black cocktail dress from the former Steve & Barry's SJP Bitten line and a purple sweater from the sweetest lady ever.

4. What's the last thing you read/are currently reading? Great Gatsby was the last book I read for fun. Crime & Punishment I started and didn't get to finish because of textbook reading. And I'm waiting on a book to come so I can start pre-research for my book.

5. Who was the last person you hugged? the sweet lady who gave me this sweater.

6. What's you current obsession/addiction? Blogging, House, Daniel Craig, and having fun

7. When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up? Everything. A teacher, a journalist, an actor, a singer (I'm a horrible singer), an Olympian, a wife and a mom.

8. What was the last thing you bought? PJ's for the Single's mingle

9. What are you listening to right now? Taylor Swift Fearless

10. What is your favorite weather and why? Fall, it's not so hot will frizz and there is no snow.

11. What is your most challenging goal right now? Finding a job and a man.

12. Say something to the person who tagged you. Hey Princess Freckles thanks for everything. I'm so glad we work together because you make that place so much fun.

13. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished, anywhere in the world, where would it be? NYC

14. Favorite vacation spot? Saint Petersburg Russia

15. If you could have a car totally paid for and the environment and gas wasn't an issue what would it be? Astin Martin

16. Name one thing you just can't resist no matter how bad it is for you? Everything

17. What was the first tape or CD that you bought for yourself? I don't even know. Nsync maybe.

18. Describe your perfect day. A day in my own house, with the perfect outfit and the perfect man just relaxing.

19. Who is the most famous person you know? An important person in Congress.

20. What would you do if you won the Lottery? Travel

The added question:
21. Who do you admire?

Since I'm new I don't have 8 people to tag but I'll tag:

Prep in the Big Apple

Park Avenue Princess

Sexy Back

Artist: Justin Timberlake

So I decided to skip the conservative and go for the sexy. It's really cute and like a dress but it's soft and pajamas. It's a Pajama Party Single's Mingle - hence the pj's. Princess Freckles should know that I'm not outgoiong enough to wear pj's at a party. The picture is blurry but this is the gist. There are like white "firecrackers" on them.

Additionally, following in the footsteps of Prep in the Big Apple, I contacted an ex.

Now I use the term VERY loosely and vaguely. We were never really an item but we were heading down that path when things kind of blew up. A little background. I met him when I was 18 and hosting a veteran's event at school and he is like 10 years older than me and I wasn't ready for anything. We became friends and then when I was ready to see what could happen but he kept standing me up. As friends it was okay for him to be late or have to cancel but when we were going to go on our first real date and he didn't show I was pissed.

I was also worried because I heard nothing from him all day. So when I finally did I called him on it and he was pissed because his car broke and he was fighting with companies all day. He was suppose to be coming to my school for a presentation and we got in a fight about that and I just didn't want to talk to him. He bought me a gift and wanted to apologize but I wouldn't let him so we didn't talk.

I texted him on election night to see if he was alive (he's in the Army and I always wonder if he'll be sent back overseas) but never called him back like I said I would.

He's definately one of those "bad boys" -- see below -- and so I don't know what is going to happen but he apologized again and asked where do we go from here. I told him food is a good place to start and now I shall wait and see what happens.

Single Ladies

Artist: Beyonce

So in my first attempt to broaden my horizons and experience new things I won a pair of tickets to a Single's Mingle from the local radio station, MojointheMorning. It's at the V night club at the MGM Grand casino. I've never been to a night club and never a single's mingle so it will certainly be an experience.

My friend Nat is coming with me as long as she can get off work and I'm so glad because she's super outgoing and will force me to meet people.

Ofcourse the big question is what to wear!

I wanted this really cute jumper sleepwear from Victoria's Secret it's cute, conservative and looks comfortable. More importantly it's affordable and warm. But it wouldn't be delivered in time :(

Now I must do things the old fashion way and go to the mall.

Bad Boys

Artist: Will Smith

What is it about bad boys that make them so irrestistable?

My FAVORITE Bad Boy... his name is Bond, James Bond.
Some of my favorite shows were on tonight and on all of them I like the bad boys - albiet in VERY different ways. Regardless, the "bad" boys always appeal to me. Every "nice" boy I find boring or stupid. And of course the "bad" boy is NEVER any good. House, Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill are however so on with the shows....

"...it involves House, Foreman and 13 so it's either dumb, dangerous or tradgic..." - Taub

That was the quote of the show and I'm pleased that neither was true. Today was good. Amazingly, Dr. House wasn't bad today, he was nice actually nice!!! Cuddy on the other hand not so nice and let him have it. Not that I blame her since he is usually a complete ass.

Unfortunately, because they are on at the same time I only get to see chunks of Gossip Girl. But I LOVE the parts I can see. Fashion and gossip two of my favorite things. But the best thing on GG is the Chuck Bass! I don't know what it is about him but he's just so..... Chuck.

Dan Scott is the devil I mean this man has literally done every evil thing imaginable and yet somehow he's like my favorite character on the show or at least I miss him when he's not on. I discuss this with HorseGirl everytime we talk about OTH and I can't decide if its the actor or amazing writing that makes this evil-jerk-murderer redeemable. After today I'm leaning towards the actor because he was too cute with Jamie.
Surprisingly, James van Der Beek was also cute today. I love that he is on OTH. I think it's awesome. I'm not a specific fan and I rarely liked Dawson but Chad Michael Murray got his start on DC and both were the teen soap for their "generation" so it's fun.
Rounding out my tv blog entry I have to confess that I watched Baywatch last night. Growing up it was one of my favorite shows. Bri and I would pretend to be the different characters. I was excited for the 2002 tv movie. Most people think it's crazy - I don't disagree; however the show - at least season 3 - is not inappropriate or anything. Just really, really, REALLY dumb. It's totally after-school special, pathetic montages and really bad acting.

Gonna Miss President Roosevelt

Artist: Unknown, Blues for FDR

I miss the Roosevelts. Researching and writing my thesis last semester was fun.

So I've decied to start working on my book. I've always planned to write another book and this time I want to get it published. What I enjoyed most about my research was the fact that it hasn't been well researched. There are only a couple of books about the alignment of black Americans to the Democratic party during the Roosevelt era and barely any credit is given to FDR. I don't exactly have a ton of time to work on it now but I can do little things. I have ideas in my head about what I'd like to do and I'm sure there will be changes but one thing I'm pretty sure about is writing a narrative and not a scholarly book. So now my blog will also be a chronicle for my book adventure.


And hopefully in five years I can have it finished and have it published before the greatest legacy of the Roosevelt adminstration leaves office.

9 to 5

Artist: Dolly Parton

OMG! Well its official I'm dieting!

I bought a pair of jeans at Parisian (size 9) because they were cheap and because I figured they'd be big and therefore would make me feel better. They are not big on me. So not cool. I planned on starting fresh in February in many aspects of my life. Now along with socializing, studying and work I'm going to have to add the gym to my list.

So I'm never going to look like Pamela Anderson (which probably a good thing most of the time), but I'd at least like a flat stomach like she has.

On a brighter note it is so warm outside right now I feel like sunbathing.*

*By warm I mean 37 degrees