The First Cut is the Deepest

Artist: Sheryl Crow

So I've given up trying to be optimistic/cheerful because my life just sucks.

My Mom LITERALLY won't talk to me. People don't appreicate this but I mean LITERALLY! I usuallydon't even get a good morning. She is not going to let me live with her after graduation and I have to find a job that pays enough for rent.

I can't even get my Gram to let me stay with her for 2 days or even a night and she lives 1 mile away and lives in a 4 bedroom house by herself.

I may as well have no father at all because I never talk with him, don't have his number and he has never helped me in any way whatsoever.

I can't even turn to my sister because she's just not that type of person. I try but she screams to my Mom that I'm bothering her.

I don't really have friends to turn to, my 2 former BFs aren't talking to me so I can't even talk with them about it or go out to escape. My other BF lives in NYC and we just don't talk that often. Penelope never answers her phone. I love the people at work and surely complain enough but there is only so much they can do. And H is great but she's family too so I don't want to make things weird for her plus she has 2 babies and doesn't need my drama nor does she have time to hang out much.

Mr. H is always supportive but I can only harass him so much and I rarely get to see him.

I ofcourse have no bf or much potential and my life in bubble with no men leaves me with 0 experience or comfortablity which makes it all but impossible to meet someone. No one really understands that just like my mother does NOT talk to me. I know NOTHING about guys. I don't know how to be in a relationship bc I've never even witnesses one to learn from. My wholefamily is basically single women who don't date.

In sum - I'm lonely hell and it isn't looking optimistic.